i feel so asexual, and yet a certain voice can trigger the most base sexual response in me. Then, i start to worry. i do not find my self attractive anymore, haven't for ages. Part of that i know is a direct response to my "partner" not finding me attractive for the last 6 years, which, btw, is PATHETIC. So now i have this wonderful cycle set up for my self, no one finds me attractive so i feel unattractive, and then i am frustrated with myself for feeling like my feelings of attractiveness are tied to someone else finding me attractive. i mean, like i will start to flirt with someone and then i totally shut down the whole thing cause i am like "i don't want to see me naked and if i don't want to see me naked then i sure as hell don't want HIM seeing me naked" viscous circle of self hatred.